Correct to a fault where the police are concerned, the Town Crier’s Shawn Star has opined that the “altercation” between police and a guy who shot up a Parliament street barber shop has escaped the scrutiny of the Special Investigations Unit. (SIU) Hoo boy. Why in the name of crime and punishment would the SIU be in the middle of this capture? The assassin jackass escaped with his life after he and a buddy burst into the hair-cutting place and started shooting. First they plugged the wrong man (nice) and then led cops on an alarming chase through midtown. One of the two was captured when their car crashed at Yonge and Roxborough. The “altercation” assailant was finally cornered in a Summerhill yard. From all reports he fought like a tiger to escape and the police had to beat him into submission. Any complaints so far? Okay, so it was an “altercation” in the cutest sense of the word. Most of us would say it was the righteous nailing of a very dangerous dude. So the headline Altercation escapes SIU scrutiny recalls Chicago reporters turned playwrights Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur. Their memorable character Walter Burns, editor of the Chicago Examiner, had a way with headlines. “Stooge of Stalin or simply stupid?” he bellowed at the re-write desk. We think “Summerhill altercation” is simply stupid. But we also acknowledge that it isn’t the Town Crier’s fault that the SUI had to even answer the phone on this one.
